


Uncle C****

by Scotty1609



Series: Stony, But With Kids [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Aunt Natasha Romanov, Awesome Clint Barton, Awesome Natasha Romanov, Awesome Sam Wilson, Babies, Big Brother Peter Parker, Children Using Foul Language, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint Barton is so Done, Domestic Avengers, Domestic Fluff, Domestic Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Established Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Explicit Language, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Margaret Stark-Rogers, Original Baby Characters, Original Child Characters, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Peggy Stark-Rogers - Freeform, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Is So Done, Uncle Clint Barton, Uncle Sam Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-25 21:21:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18171623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotty1609/pseuds/Scotty1609
Summary: "Oh man, Stark is gonna flip when she says my name first!” Clint held his phone closer to Peggy as the baby grabbed at her hair, frustrated that her uncle was holding her back from her breakfast. “C'mon, princess, just say 'Clint' and we can go on with our lives. Cllllll-int. Clint. Cliii-”“Cunt!”“Oh God,” Clint bemoaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Cap's gonna kill me.”





	Uncle C****

**Author's Note:**

> This fic, just like the last one in this series, had not been re-read or edited. (Sorry not sorry).
> 
> WARNINGS: foul language; children using foul language; abuse of spatulas

Steve was absolutely _exhausted_.

He had gotten back from a mission earlier that morning, stripped of his armor, kissed his husband, and fallen into bed. Only a few hours later, he blinked awake to the sounds of Tony shuffling around. “I'm taking Pete to school,” Tony told his husband, kissing Steve tenderly. “Peggy should sleep for a little while longer.”

“Mm'kay,” Steve mumbled out. He was fast asleep again before Tony even left the room.

Steve was a light sleeper, having learned to be during the war and throughout his time with the Avengers. It came in handy most of the time, especially with two kids in the mansion, but it was often times disappointing. So, when he jerked awake to the sound of Peggy's whining over the baby monitor, Steve sighed heavily and stumbled out of bed. He nearly cried when he saw that he had only fallen asleep for a half hour longer.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Steve spoke to himself as he slumped out of his and Tony's room, dragging a hand down his face. “Papa's coming, baby.”

“Cap!” Clint cheered from across the hallway. He waved one hand in the air, the other wrapped around a mug of coffee. “Good morning! You're up early. Didn't you just get back?”

“Yea,” Steve sighed, blinking back blurry spots, “But Margaret Stark-Rogers waits for no man.:

Clint winced. “Yeouch. Yea, I remember when Cooper was that age...” The archer's eyes looked his teammate up and down, and Steve could tell he was debating something. Finally, Clint sighed heavily and started waving Steve off. “Go on, Cap, go back to bed.”

Steve frowned. “But, Peggy-”

“Will be fine with her Uncle Clint for a few hours while her Papa gets more sleep.”

“But I need to-”

“Get some more rest?”

“I'm her father, I'm responsible for-”

“Getting a good night's sleep so you can spend the rest of the day with her?”

“ _Clint_ -”

“ _Steve_ ,” Clint countered, cocking an eyebrow in a way that was very reminiscent of Natasha. Steve would bet money that was where he had learned it. “Get on back to bed. I'll take care of Peggy, and once you wake up from your beauty-sleep, you can play with her, okay?”

Steve was about to protest further, but a combination of his sore muscles, fuzzy vision, and Clint's glare made him relent. “Just an hour more,” he promised, stumbling backwards towards his room. “Just an... hour... or two.”

“Take your time, Cap!” Clint called to his friend as he went towards the nursery. “Little Miss Peggy and Uncle Clint have some quality time to spend together!”

Steve couldn't help but grin at that, and he collapsed back into bed with a smile on his face.

 

Peggy whined as she sat up in her crib, making grabby-hands towards Clint as the archer approached. “Hiya, princess,” Clint cooed to the baby, only succeeding in making her whine more. “Alright, alright, don't get your diaper in a bunch.” Placing his mug to the side, Clint reached down and picked up the baby, tossing her in the air a bit. Peggy's whines quickly turned to giggles, and she babbled relentlessly as Clint cuddled her close. “You are so lovable!” Clint chirped, kissing her chubby cheek. Peggy only giggled more, one hand reaching out to pat her uncle's face. She was clearly intrigued by his morning stubble, because she began babbling louder and rubbing her little hands up and down Clint's chin. “You hungry, baby?”

“Ba!” Peggy cheered.

“'Course you are. Let's get going then!”

Clint grabbed his coffee on the way out, making his way towards the kitchen. Sam was standing at the stove, simultaneously nursing bacon in one pan and pancakes in another. Natasha was sitting at the bar, the two arguing good-naturedly about something to do with RuPaul's Drag Race.

“God,” Clint chuckled as he settled Peggy into her high-chair. “I'm surprised that show's still _on_.”

“They're on season, what-” Sam looked to Natasha, “twenty-something?”

“Something,” the woman yawned into her hot tea. “Where's Steve? Didn't he get back this morning?”

“Told him to get more sleep,” Clint informed his friend as he went to the cupboard to grab out some cereal and baby food. “Poor guy was freaking exhausted.”

When the archer put out some Cheerios for Peggy, the baby began bouncing in her seat and chanting, “Ba ba ba bababa!”

“Yea, yea, squirt,” Clint took a sip of coffee. “Keep up the hard work and you'll be chattier than your Dad soon enough.”

Natasha made a disgusted face. “Oh God, I hope not. We don't need a mini Tony Stark running around the place.”

Sam chuckled as he plated some food and set it in front of Clint. “Lord knows that Peter talks just as much as his Dad. I'm hoping Peggy will be more of a Rogers-kiddo.”

“ _Babababaaaa_ -” Peggy whined as she reached for a piece of bacon on Clint's plate.

“Hey! I have my food, you have yours,” Clint teased the baby, touching a finger to her button nose. “Now eat up, champ! You wanna grow big and strong like your Pops, right?”

Peggy looked down at her Cheerios, poking around a bit before picking up as much of a handful as her baby fists could muster. “Good job, princess! Now you've just gotta- _Ack_!” Clint choked on air when Peggy threw her Cheerios at him, one slobber-coated one landing on his lips. “Oh, _crap-_ ” he scrabbled to wipe off the mushy cereal. “That's _gross_ , Margaret.”

Peggy only clapped her hands together and squealed happily.

“Speaking of Peter,” Sam began, sitting down at the table, “doesn't he have a spelling bee coming up this week? Steve invited me, but I'm not sure I can make it what with Fury breathing down my neck about this Budapest mission.”

“Ah, Budapest,” Natasha grinned cat-like, “Good memories.”

Clint scoffed. “Maybe good for _you_. Anyways,” he turned back to Sam, “we all know Pete's gonna kick ass and take home gold. That little brat's smart as his Dad.”

“Smarter,” Natasha corrected. “ _Peter_ has a sense of self-preservation, at least. Unlike _you_ ,” she pointed at the archer, “cursing around Roger's kid like that. You know he wouldn't approve.”

“Oh, please,” Clint rolled his eyes. “You should hear some of the stories Bucky tells about Steve. He sure was a trash-mouth back in the day, apparently.”

“Well,” Sam chimed in, “Peggy's in her mimicking phase, and she's only just learning how to talk. You'd best watch out, Clint.”

As if trying to prove her Uncle Sam's point, Peggy piped up with a chipper, “Cccccc'nt!”

Clint whirled around towards the baby, a grin overtaking his features. “Did you just say my name?! Guys! Guys! I think she's trying to say 'Clint'!”

“Yea, right,” Sam jeered. “This is just like when she was a newborn and you thought she was smiling at you, but she really just had gas.”

“No, no, no- she's saying my name!” Clint insisted. He moved his chair to face Peggy fully, scooting up to be face-to-face with his niece. The baby was shoving Cheerios in her mouth, blinking owlishly up at Clint. “Say it again, Peggy! Say Clint! Cl-int. Clllllint. _Clint_.”

“Bababa _baaaa_!”

“No, _Cliii-nt._ ”

“ _Baaa_!”

“C'mon, kiddo,” Clint pulled out his phone, setting it to record. “I wanna shove it in your Daddy's face that you said my name before his! Go on, now. _C-l-i-n-t_.”

Peggy gave her uncle a face, screwing up her nose in a very bunny-like fashion. She reached for more Cheerios, and Clint blocked her hand. “Nope! Gotta say 'Clint' first, baby!”

Peggy squealed angrily, smacking at Clint's hand.

Sam laughed, rolling his eyes. “C'mon, man, she's not gonna say it.”

“Yea, _Clint_ ,” Natasha poked at said archer with her socked toes. “She can say her family's names-”

“We _are_ her family!” Clint protested with a whine.

“I _meant_ , she can say 'Papa' and 'Peter'.”

“But not 'Daddy'. Oh man, Stark is gonna _flip_ when she says my name first!” Clint held his phone closer to Peggy as the baby grabbed at her hair, frustrated that her uncle was holding her back from her breakfast. “C'mon, princess, just say 'Clint' and we can go on with our lives. Cllllll-int. _Clint_. _Cliii_ -”

“Cunt!”

Clint's eyes nearly bugged out of his head, and Sam spewed coffee onto the table. Natasha threw back her head and cackled. Peggy seemed to like the way her family was reacting to her babbling, so she bounced in her seat and chirped, “Cunt! Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!”

“Oh _God_ ,” Clint bemoaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Cap's gonna _kill me_.”

“Cunt!”

“C'mon, Uncle Cunt,” Sam jeered, poking Clint's side. “Didn't you _want_ her to say your name?”

“I didn't want her to learn _that_!! Oh God, Cap's gonna _slaughter_ me. And then he's gonna bring me back to life, and then he's gonna slaughter me _again_.”

Natasha bit her cheek to keep from laughing harder. “Not to mention what Auntie Pepper's gonna say.”

“Oh _fuck_.”

And then, to make matters even _better_ , Peggy mimicked: “Uck! Uck! Uck! Cunt! Uck!”

Clint's face drained of all color. “Oh, no. Oh _no_.”

Sam was kneeling over in his chair by then, doing his best to breathe through the hacks of laughter. Natasha was grinning at Clint's misery, stroking her hands through Peggy's fuzzy hair. “Good job, my little star,” the woman crooned as she kissed Peggy's head.”

“Uck!”

“Just be glad she can't say her 'f's yet, man,” Sam tried to reassure Clint, patting the other man's shoulder. “Oh God, I can't _wait_ to see Steve's face when he hears-”

“When I hear what?”

Clint jumped and all but covered Peggy's face with his hand, drawing an unimpressed glare from Steve. The man was leaning against the kitchen door frame, hair damp and a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

“Steve! Steve-o, Stevie boy!” Clint exclaimed. “I thought you went back to bed!”

“I did...” Steve drawled out as he poured himself a cup of juice. “But FRIDAY said that I would want to see what was going on in the kitchen. So what's up, Nat? Sam? Cl-”

“ _CUNT_!”

Steve jumped about a foot in the air, whirling around to stare at his daughter, bewildered. Peggy had wriggled out of Clint's grip and, upon seeing her Papa, decided to share her newest vocabulary word with him. “Cunt!” she cheered, pointing as well as a baby could at her Uncle Clint. “Cunt, Cunt, Cunt, _CuntCuntCunt_!”

“... _Barton_ ,” Steve began slowly, closing his eyes and rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “ _What_ is my daughter saying right now? And _no excuses_.”

“She's obviously saying his name, Steve,” Natasha pursed her lips as she tried not to smile. “Can't you tell?”

“Uck!” Peggy continued on. “Cunt! Uck! Uck! Uck! Cunt!”

“And what was _that_?!” Steve demanded as he crossed over to his daughter, picking the baby up out of her seat and cuddling her to his chest. He narrowed his eyes at Clint, scowling. “Want to try to explain _that_?”

“ _Obviously_ , um, she's- ah- uh- saying-” Clint groped for words, wringing his hands nervously. “Ah- I mean-”

It was at that wonderful, blissful moment of Clint's life that baby Peggy decided to try her hand at pronouncing her 'f's. The word came out from her lips more like “ _Pppffff_ ughck!” But it was clearly enough for Steve to tell what she was saying.

“Oh my- _Barton_!”

“I wasn't trying to teach her that!” Clint attempted to defend himself, “I didn't even teach her to say-”

“Cunt!”

“- _that_! I was trying to get her to say my name and- ohmyGod Cap please don't _you're holding a baby, you can't fight me_!”

Steve had snatched up a spatula and was swatting Clint's head, chasing after the archer when he hopped up and tried to escape. Peggy was squealing happily and clapping her hands as her Papa chased her uncle around the kitchen, cursing all the while.

“I'm sorry, I'msorryI'msorryI'm _sorry_ , okay?! Just let me- _OUCH_! Cap what the hell?!”

“I swear to _God_ , Barton! First you taught Peter how to flip someone off, and now you're teaching Peggy to _curse_?!”

“IT'S NOT MY FAULT!”

That was the sight that Tony walked in on only moments later- Natasha collapsed on the kitchen bar, her body shaking from laughter. Sam was practically rolling around on the floor. Clint was jumping over chairs and Sam, dodging Steve's attempts to swat him with the spatula. And Steve, with his daughter cradled in one arm, reached out and managed to snag Clint's collar, swinging the man over his shoulder and tossing him past Natasha and onto the couch in the living room.

“ _Ack_! _Fuck_ , Rogers!”

Peggy clapped her hands together and screeched, “FUCK!”

Tony couldn't help it. He broke down into his own peals of laughter, dropping his briefcase off near the door and going to pick up Peggy from his husband's arms. “Oh my _God_ , Margaret,” he choked out, hysterical tears welling in his eyes, “We aren't going to be able to send you to day-care, are we?”

“ _Cunt_!”

“Jesus,” Steve groaned, collapsing against the counter-top. “I swear, Clint, I'm gonna shove your arrows right where the sun doesn't shine.”

Tony leaned over and pecked Steve on the lips. “Talk about a new quiver.”

Peggy giggled maniacally, hugging her Daddy's arm and patting her Papa's chest as she babbled on in a mix of baby words and curse words.

“Well,” Sam managed to right himself long enough to say, “Looks like she's gonna be taking after Stark after all.”

“Um, _not_ my fault, for once,” Tony corrected the younger man. He placed Peggy back in her high-chair and fed her more Cheerios when she reached for the box. “I can't believe Barton's a father.”

“Me neither,” Steve shook his head exasperatedly. He went over to pet Peggy's hair back as the baby dug into her Cheerios, finally silenced. “But, hey-” Steve glanced over to where Clint was pouting on the couch, “-it's not like we don't have a wide choice in babysitters.”

Peggy glanced back up at her Papa and Daddy and let out one more loud, cheerful, “ _Cunt_!”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, ummm, I'm absolutely ADORING writing Peggy, because I feel like there aren't enough Domestic Avengers fics about Stony babies and kids out there?? If you guys wanna see more of Peggy and her family, then please let me know!! Thanks so much!!!


End file.
